when i suddenly realize

time flies.
returning to my home, i saw my mum, sitting at the kitchen table doing her devotion.
looking at her, my thoughts were triggered.
will i still be able to see her in this way when i'm away?
will i still be able to hug her, talk to her, merajuk to her...
suddenly, only did i realize that

I'm leaving soon...

i will miss her.

i'm leaving soon..
sitting in front of my laptop, typing out my mixed feelings of uncertainties.
pondering back to my memories.
i may seem steady and emotionless.
but there's just something inside.
my feelings are spurring.
when do i get to meet them again?
will I keep in touch with them? will the separate roads we're walking on merge at any point of time?
no matter how complex things turned, undeniably there are still good memories that I will surely cherish.
i'm telling myself.
this is just the transition period.
things aren't that sad.
there are always the starting and the farewell.
it is by then that you get another starting to a whole new level of life.

I always know that these 3 years will just pass like a blink of eyes.
i know that 3 years are just preparation for my future life.
the equipping process that God is bringing me through.
my life is back here in Malaysia after I graduate.
there're so much more new surroundings and adjustments and farewell and new starting that I'm gonna face later on in life.
but, no matter what come my way,
now i'm moving on into these 3 years of golden times of my life and i want to make the best outta it!
it's gonna be something that will stick with me for the rest of my years and times which will equip me and bring a smile to my face when i think back of it.

not to think too far,
let's come back to the friends, life, family, church, ministries here...
Am I ready to bid them goodbye and move into another world which God has prepared for me?
I think I am ready.
I am ready and I am looking forward.
but let me just say something for the one last time for those whom I'm leaving behind...

I'm sorry, i've not been a very nice friend/daughter/sister.
but Thank You! for not giving up on me.
I will miss you :')