Should it be that way?

the professor was scribbling on the white board.
Lines by lines, explaining something which seemed only to be understood by himself.
the rest of the class is quiet.
Everyone was either dozing off, paying attention (or at least they seemed to be), staring at their white blank piece of notepaper, sighing, or staring into the space in deep thoughts
Guess which category did I fall into?
BINGO! I was paying attention!
....Not

At least I tried to.
I tried my best. I mean I was looking at his scribbles, looking at him, trying my best to copy down what he wrote...
but Come on! those are scribbles! Who would understand that!
His writings are totally comprehensible, it's just that...... the contents are not.

She looked like she's paying attention, but her mind floats off~
'What do you think will happen if i change my major?' she thought to herself.
'Mathematics would be a good try.
Well at least the sponsors won't give her too much problem since Math is under Science too.'
'Math is good. Isn't it? Do you think I should?'

"Okay class, are you following me?" asked the professor.
that interrupted her train of thoughts.
'oh gosh, where were he? oh ok! voltage gain and inductance.
oh Crap! what's inductance again?'
there she goes again, struggling in the very first week of her class.
___________________________________________________


Well yea, that was me.
All I need is a confirmation that should i stay in Physics or should I change into Math major?
It's that simple.
then it would avoid all the nonsense thoughts floating through my head. (the thoughts have been settling in my mind since I took the 1st physics course!)
to be honest, it's not fun at all.
listening to my coursemate(who scored 'A') complaining about how hard the course is and that he should change major.
What?! you're the smarter one! come on! give me some confidence here!

some say "it's ok to change major, it's a very common thing to do here. you studied that course, find out it wasn't for you, change it."

some say "Maths is hard too ya know. everything is hard."

some say "Yea, I know physics is hard. i have no idea why people would wanna take physics as a major. No offense, but i hate physics. "

some say (a professor) "If you can't get an A in classical mechanics and **, then you should consider changing your course. I don't mean to scare you. but that's my advice."

(Oh really prof? Congrats! you managed to scare me to bits! :D X_X)

some say : "you didn't get an A for your physics last semester? you should! you're a physics major!"

(yea i know. thanks for reminding me that)

Oh God!

Why would you even allow me to take this path?

I've known that it's a road of suffering down here but why didn't you stop me?

you allow me to walk through this just so that i can realize i don't have that Physics 'thing' so that I can change my major?

But Lord, i know it's not that. 

you'd want me to trust in you and that you would bring me through it. 

Tell me that's what you've planned for me!

or, everyone has different skillful areas, maybe mine is not Physics after all. 

It's a realization, is that it?

I don't know.

hey You! Yes You! Do you have any golden advice to offer to me? I'm lacking of some. or maybe plenty.