Wrestling with God
Dear God,
I have decided to wrestle with you like how Jacob wrestled with you. Until you deliver me out of my distress. I will keep on doing that. Until that hip-socket moment, so that I will forever remember You. and Your faithfulness to me.
1. Fear
Jacob fears his brother, Esau.
He was in "Great Fear and Distress"!
Mind you, the last time Jacob met Esau was when he cheated everything from Esau to the extent that Esau wanted to kill him. That's why he flee away for 20 years!
The issue wasn't resolved just by Jacob running away.
That's why, 20 years later, Jacob was still "in great fear and distress".
Because he has an unresolved issue that deeply troubled and distressed him.
What is the unresolved issue that deeply troubled and distressed you?
It might be for you a deep fear- fear of the uncertainty, fear of making the wrong decisions,fear of trusting, fear of not getting what your heart desires, fear of not being able to walk out of the hurt and pain that you're going through now ... What is your fear?
2. Wrestle
That night, Jacob took all that he had, his family, maidservants, possessions and sent them across the stream, so that he was left alone.
Everything he had, he put away (send across the stream).
He recognized that he has been very blessed. He has been blessed thus far with a lot (wives, children, wealth, servants...) But they all don't matter to him so much at this point of time. He has no brain space to deal with anything else but his distress.
What really is your distress?
So big that you don't have brain space left to deal with everything else that is suppose to matter in your life?
Okay. Then put everything else across the stream- put them away for now and just wrestle with God.
Wrestle with God alone, on your own. If need be, wrestle for the whole night till the day comes, in your sleep, until you wake up. And Don't give up. Keep wrestling. Ask God questions. Tell God how you feel. Ask him to talk to you. Process it in your mind. Write down in your diary. Hear what word from the Bible He is leading you to?
Keep prevailing and don't let go.
Until God delivers you- Until you get an answer, Until you get your peace, Until you get your word, Until you're given a new identity- Israel (God strives), Until you see the face of God (Peniel), Until you breakthrough from your distress, Until your hip-socket moment.
3. Hip-socket moment
Hip-socket moment is when you wrestle until you are wrenched. Jacob's "hip was wrenched as he wrestled..." The definition of "wrench" is "a sudden violent twist or pull". Until you reach that point when God speaks to you and convicts you so deeply as if you feel a sudden violent twist or pull in your heart.
It is a forever reminder that you have seen the face of God (Peniel). The conviction which is so real that you might cry thinking about it.
It hasn't happened a lot of times in your life, this might be your first experience, but wrestle with God until you reach that point of hip-socket moment.
When God gives you a new name and a new identity- just like how God renamed Jacob as "Israel" which means "God strives".
When God finally delivers.
4. Look up and See!
Look what happens in the next chapter!
"Jacob looked up and there was Esau"
Jacob lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, Esau was coming, and four hundred men with him. Jacob was still scared, he bowed down 7 times; but now, with his new identity, he has been delivered, he is secure, he is ready to take on responsibility- he himself stood in front and led his wives, children and maidservants. He has courage now. Though still uncertain, so he took precaution and bow and bow and bow and bow and bow and bow and bow (7 times) until he came near to his brother Esau.
But watch this part- TOTALLY UNEXPECTED and can only come from God. Esau- the one who wanted to kill him previously- RAN to meet him, EMBRACED him and THREW HIS ARMS around his neck and KISSED him! The next amazing, amazing moment of reconciliation happened- They Wept (together).
Your distress will come to an end.
There will be a solution, a resolution, a reconciliation to your distress.
And only God can bring about that change because only God can touch and change a person's heart, only God can miraculously turn the situation around.
Just wrestle with Him until when you look up and you see His deliverance before your eyes.
Then you will be able to take up responsibility, at the same time precaution, trusting that God will work on the other end to your favor.
After this incident, there will still be challenges in life. But God will continually deliver you, bless you and rename you. He has wrestled with you once, he will forever remember you. You too, that hip-socket moment, you'll forever remember God's faithfulness to you. His amazing Grace to you.
I have decided to wrestle with you like how Jacob wrestled with you. Until you deliver me out of my distress. I will keep on doing that. Until that hip-socket moment, so that I will forever remember You. and Your faithfulness to me.
Based on: Jacob wrestles with God
Genesis 32:3-12, 22-32, 33:1-4
1. Fear
Jacob fears his brother, Esau.
He was in "Great Fear and Distress"!
Mind you, the last time Jacob met Esau was when he cheated everything from Esau to the extent that Esau wanted to kill him. That's why he flee away for 20 years!
The issue wasn't resolved just by Jacob running away.
That's why, 20 years later, Jacob was still "in great fear and distress".
Because he has an unresolved issue that deeply troubled and distressed him.
What is the unresolved issue that deeply troubled and distressed you?
It might be for you a deep fear- fear of the uncertainty, fear of making the wrong decisions,fear of trusting, fear of not getting what your heart desires, fear of not being able to walk out of the hurt and pain that you're going through now ... What is your fear?
2. Wrestle
That night, Jacob took all that he had, his family, maidservants, possessions and sent them across the stream, so that he was left alone.
Everything he had, he put away (send across the stream).
He recognized that he has been very blessed. He has been blessed thus far with a lot (wives, children, wealth, servants...) But they all don't matter to him so much at this point of time. He has no brain space to deal with anything else but his distress.
What really is your distress?
So big that you don't have brain space left to deal with everything else that is suppose to matter in your life?
Okay. Then put everything else across the stream- put them away for now and just wrestle with God.
Wrestle with God alone, on your own. If need be, wrestle for the whole night till the day comes, in your sleep, until you wake up. And Don't give up. Keep wrestling. Ask God questions. Tell God how you feel. Ask him to talk to you. Process it in your mind. Write down in your diary. Hear what word from the Bible He is leading you to?
Keep prevailing and don't let go.
Until God delivers you- Until you get an answer, Until you get your peace, Until you get your word, Until you're given a new identity- Israel (God strives), Until you see the face of God (Peniel), Until you breakthrough from your distress, Until your hip-socket moment.
3. Hip-socket moment
Hip-socket moment is when you wrestle until you are wrenched. Jacob's "hip was wrenched as he wrestled..." The definition of "wrench" is "a sudden violent twist or pull". Until you reach that point when God speaks to you and convicts you so deeply as if you feel a sudden violent twist or pull in your heart.
It is a forever reminder that you have seen the face of God (Peniel). The conviction which is so real that you might cry thinking about it.
It hasn't happened a lot of times in your life, this might be your first experience, but wrestle with God until you reach that point of hip-socket moment.
When God gives you a new name and a new identity- just like how God renamed Jacob as "Israel" which means "God strives".
When God finally delivers.
4. Look up and See!
Look what happens in the next chapter!
"Jacob looked up and there was Esau"
Jacob lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, Esau was coming, and four hundred men with him. Jacob was still scared, he bowed down 7 times; but now, with his new identity, he has been delivered, he is secure, he is ready to take on responsibility- he himself stood in front and led his wives, children and maidservants. He has courage now. Though still uncertain, so he took precaution and bow and bow and bow and bow and bow and bow and bow (7 times) until he came near to his brother Esau.
But watch this part- TOTALLY UNEXPECTED and can only come from God. Esau- the one who wanted to kill him previously- RAN to meet him, EMBRACED him and THREW HIS ARMS around his neck and KISSED him! The next amazing, amazing moment of reconciliation happened- They Wept (together).
Your distress will come to an end.
There will be a solution, a resolution, a reconciliation to your distress.
And only God can bring about that change because only God can touch and change a person's heart, only God can miraculously turn the situation around.
Just wrestle with Him until when you look up and you see His deliverance before your eyes.
Then you will be able to take up responsibility, at the same time precaution, trusting that God will work on the other end to your favor.
After this incident, there will still be challenges in life. But God will continually deliver you, bless you and rename you. He has wrestled with you once, he will forever remember you. You too, that hip-socket moment, you'll forever remember God's faithfulness to you. His amazing Grace to you.
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