How to Hope and Expect Without being Crippled by the Fear of Disappointment and Failure?

"Hospitality is not about changing people, 

but offering them a safe place where growth and change can take place. 

Acceptance of people in their brokenness is necessary to offer them this space. "

This is a post-retreat reflection. Original content extracted from Dr James' sharing.

Changing people is God's job.
Our job is to give people the time and space through accepting them.

I used to think...
Why do people still want to willingly get married when they know they're going to get hurt by their spouse inevitably?
It's just like, why do people still want to willingly get close to people (friends) when they know that the closer you get to a person, the deeper they can cut you?

Why still choose to be close?

The answer is because...
1) God made us desire intimacy
2) God design us to live in community (not as a lone-ranger)
3) Our weight is on God (just imagine sitting on a chair and you relax yourself and put your entire weight on God. It's just like that. Your entire weight is on God)

And when you put your entire weight on God, you can trust that when you get hurt,  God can salvage that relationship and your heart and the situation beyond your imagination.
Only by knowing that, you can willingly and consciously and freely choose to love And accept and get close and be vulnerable despite the clear realization of Brokenness (brokenness both in you and in the other person).

It's just like what I've previously said,
How can i continue to hope and expect when I know there will certainly be disappointment?

"Humans will flaw, Expectations will fail, 

But God is still in control. 

For that, we can hope and be set free, we can expect and not hold so tight; 

For we can trust that: If this chair breaks, God is there to hold me."

Because my weight is on God, so I can trust that when the chair breaks, God is there too hold me. For that, I can continue to hope and expect without being too afraid of disappointment and failures.

Bringing this in to a Christian community...

An Attractive Community is one that is...
1) Deeply conscious of our brokenness
2) Reenacts Christ's self-giving love
3) A family that accepts each other in brokenness, offering safe space and time for people to change
4) present to hear from God and from the community

So that people will "see how they love one another", and will be attracted to join our community.